WWJD? (What would Joe Do?)

Back at home, there's this man in our town who lives in a beautiful brick house with blue shutters and probably the most well maintained yard in his neighborhood. He's in his early thirties or late twenties, owns a well-kept car and everyone in town knows his name. For privacy purposes, we'll call him Joe. But despite all this, no one considers this guy a "regular old Joe." Although he owns an expensive car, you'll see Joe driving back and forth on a single road on his moped for hours at a time. Sometimes when it rains he will sit outside of a building with an outdoor outlet and blow dry himself. He also owns a pair of pink pants that seem to be his favorite, or so I've noticed when I see him sitting on the corner dancing with headphones in his ears and eating subway. If one never knew all these things and had a random conversation with Joe, they would NEVER even think any of this of him. But for the people who know his routine, they either claim he is without a doubt insane, or say he fakes it for money. My opinion? Nothing is wrong with Joe at all. He’s a regular guy whose up and discarded society's rules of normalcy. The things he does are out of the ordinary and sometimes downright weird, but that's what makes him happy and that's what separates him from every other person.

     I think there’s a lot to learn from observing Joe. In our small town, everyone knows everyone, and the slightest mistake out of what people expect of you will haunt you forever. But if you are out and proud from the get go about exactly who you are, what your flaws are, and what you believe in, there will never be a time where you feel like you've been outed or embarrassed. There are so many people who would rather conform to society’s rules of normal, so that they won’t end up looking foolish or different when in actuality all they're doing is depriving themselves of the most extreme happiness that they could have. Happiness includes being proud of who you are and never apologizing for it.

When i say this I don't mean, being a "hipster" or even "anti hipster". I think there's this new thing where being odd and different is meant to be cool and by being odd or different you suddenly are cool; while if you're not quirky and crazy you are not cool. Well, now the normal girl or boy who doesn't like funky cat knit sweaters or prefers coca cola over tea is on the outs. They aren’t cool because they aren’t cooky enough. But in the end, how are you being crazy or different when everyone else is doing it too?

    Today's post may not apply to many people but it's just been going through my mind. For a while, I was the type of person who over analyzed myself and always wanted other people to accept me. Something as simple as staring in the mirror too long would make me change my clothes or hair. It nearly happened today this morning actually. I decided that today I wanted to wear a pair of leggings and my combat boots, a tank top and this loose see through turquoise thingy(idk what to call it.) I LOVED the outfit but after a moment   I remembered reading something on the internet that went like, "If you don't have a big butt, you shouldn't be wearing leggings." It's very funny now that I think about it. Like I can't stop a smile from cracking a smile on my face, but for moment I was like, "Uh oh." I really don't have a very dominant back end and I was afraid when people saw me they'd think, "what is she wearing?!"

     But that wasn't just it. What if they thought I looked fast or loose for wearing leggings with boots?! Did my leggings look too tight? Did I look, dare I say it, whorish? And my top? Was it granny-ish? Did it add weight while making me look flat chested? After a moment of panicking my aunt told me I had another minute to be ready to leave or I would be left. For some odd reason I made the split decision that I didn't care and I scolded myself for second guessing. My brain immediately linked the word dont and care to Joe and suddenly it popped in my head! WWJD?

      So I've taken an unspoken, unwritten pledge to myself that along with What would Jesus do in morally trying situations, I'd consider what would Joe do, in situations when I feel like I'm trying to please others. I've always been a fan of taking the road less traveled and now, even when I catch myself slipping I'll always try to consider what this odd man from my town would do and then make my decision. Because what everyone else is doing, how they are dressing, or how they act, may be satisfying, but taking the nontraditional route will always be more fun, make the best stories and in the end, there will be no doubts or second thoughts.

This has been another Sunday Post in which Leah drones on about the random sometimes sentimental thoughts going through her mind. Comment below and give me your thoughts! I shall consume them with milk and cyber cookies.

Why bother?

Hey guys! So this will be another post in which Leah rants on about things that run wild in her mind. And yes, sue me, I just referred to myself in third person. Tarzan did it, why can't I?

So recently I've been feeling rather dragged down with the progress of a novel I've been writing. I want to say I started it a little before new year's last year so maybe I've been working on it for about a good two years. I recently started querying for this special trilogy when I finished the third draft. After four rejection letters I realized I needed to take a break and draft again. Enter draft number four.

Now before I began this a few weeks ago I was very depressed. I had a dream to be published before I graduated and from the looks of it, I just wasn't good enough to ever live out that dream. My story would never be told. These people who have lived before my very eyes for a little over a year would never be made real in the eyes of readers. I was stuck. In my mind everything was against me, everything.

Things going against me
- A trilogy is too ambitious, I've spent a year on just one book as it is!
- No agent will ever want me. I'm inexperienced and a project this big is too much for any amateur
- People will start loosing faith in me and my ability to write
- There are so many amazing stories and writers out there, why in the world could I ever be one of them?

     These were just a few of the things that kept me weighted down. I no longer went to sleep dreaming about becoming a writer and signing at book events.  I could have started another draft and started again, but every time I sat down to write I'd just think to myself, "all of these things are going against me. Why bother?"

     I hope this post appeals to you outside of writing because I know a lot you are not writers. Have you ever had that feeling with any passion at all? That you'd never be good enough or  never get to accomplish a goal that means everything to you?

      After talking to some people and reading some online articles I discovered something. Whatever this unattainable goal is, do not let it make you fall out of love with your passion. If you have a goal, where did it stem from? My goal to be published stemmed from my love of writing and my want to share my writing. It came from that feeling I got when I stayed up until 4am every night typing up a world within the world I lived in. I wanted people to be taken away from there own problems with my story the way writing it swept me away from everything that was bothering me. I wanted to tell a story, and I wanted to put my heart and soul into writing, and that's exactly what I did.

Why bother?
Why bother practicing if you'll never get that solo you've been dreaming about in chorus?
Why bother training if you'll never be good enough to be in the Olympics.
Why participate in pageants if you'll never be a famous actress/singer/model?

The answer is simpler than you think, because you love what you're doing.

Sometimes we need to take a step back from the glory that could come from accomplishing a goal and remember where this goal came from. If you are pouring your heart and soul into something, I hope it's because it's something you love. If it is something you love, then no failure or success could ever take that from you.

I've started writing again and I am still completed committed to this same story. For now, all I'm focusing on is writing the best story I can and improving myself more and more. Writing started because of my imagination, I love telling stories and that hasn't changed. I'm still able to tell stories, and I'm still able to hear the click of keyboard  beneath my fingers. For now, I'm focused on the glory and happiness I get from that.

Wow...that got kinda deep. *takes off rain boots* 

Can girls and Guys be best friends?

(Insert proper greeting here)

     Guess who went to ze magical library yesterday?! MEEEE! Gah! Getting new books gives me such a high. Especially when it's a book I was nearly about to actually purchase when I ran out of checkout resources. You may be wondering what book could possibly have me stalking it for so long without loosing interest and if you're not, too bad because I shall tell you anyway. Drumroll please?

(crickets)

     It's called Wake; the very first installment in the Watersong Trilogy by Amanda Hocking. I’d like to tell you how about how anticlimactic things got when I actually got the book in my deadly grasp or how I came to follow Amanda Hockings work but as usual I've wasted too much time babbling about something completely irrelevant. Instead, I'll start back with the title and repeat this age old question that plagues so many of us. Can girls and guys be best friends?

     In Wake, our rather bland MC, Gemma, begins a relationship with a handsome but adorably-nerdy older guy named Alex. Alex also happens to be Harper’s (Gemma's older sister) best friend of many years. Now, throughout the story Hocking reiterates and displays the fact that Harper and Alex have never and would never have feelings for each other. Despite that, it's still weird for Harper and that drives an awkward wedge into her and Alex's friendship.

     I've always been the girl who developed a crush the instant a guy said my name or even looked in my direction. I swear, it's so embarrassing. That's why guys shouldn't show me attention; I'm like a man eater ha-ha. That's beside the point. Up until this year, I maintained a group of mainly girlfriends for this reason. I’ve had guy friends and I always ended up having crushes on them so I decided I'd stick with females. This year things changed. I'm no tomboy, but I do enjoy a lot of "boyish things" and well, I don't exactly fit in with most girls if you can tell unless they're weirdness equals or amplifies mine. I maintain a small group of these awkward little buggars to an extent that I no longer have to really alter my likes to fit in with the other girly girls.

     Somewhere along the way, I made double the amount of guy friends that I have in girlfriends. I realized it recently and I couldn't believe it. I mean really? Has my man-eater curse been lifted? I mean, I am literally not crushing on a single guy I know! I think that started when I made the decision I didn't want to date until college. I don’t like leading guys on, and I don't like guys thinking that they can lead me on so for that, I immediately let guys know that I don't date when I meet them. I think we call it friendzoming in popular media. Gosh, I sound so conceited, obviously not every guy likes me, heck none of them do as far as I'm concerned but the second a bit of flirt comes out I have to squash it.

     Now note in the title, I said "BEST" friends. It's very possible for guys to be just friends or acquaintances. Best friends are when things get complicated. Think about it? If you have a best girlfriend, what do you do? You share crushes, you have sleepovers, and you complement each other to lift each other’s spirits. You're there when they need a shoulder to cry on or a hug and you act silly together.

Imagine doing all that with a guy. Gets a little awkward right?

Now, if you've been best friends since gender didn't matter in kindergarten then you're probably thinking, “We do all of that stuff and it's not weird! “He/she is like my brother or sister! Well if that person is like your brother then at some point, you're going to witness him begin to date and get into serious relationships and vice versa. When a new girlfriend or boyfriend comes into the picture then suddenly you can’t deny that someone is going to be uncomfortable with you and your, "best friend" having sleepovers, confiding in each other and doing these things that you do. You might have to limit the contact to hugs or less and no longer will you be able to call him at any hour crying because a leprechaun pinched you.

Because once a girlfriend comes in the picture, they become the best friend too but on a more romantic level. Choices have to be made and an awkward encounter or two is inevitable. In a perfect world, we could control who our hearts fell in love with. In a perfect world saying someone was "like your brother" always meant that no matter what changes you made as you grew up. But this isn't a perfect world, is it?

Despite this entire thing, I strongly believe that it's possible to be best friends with the opposite gender. If you can overcome all of these contraries that I have mentioned, not only is it possible, but you'll probably have an incredibly strong relationship in the end that even a girlfriend or boyfriend could accept and feel comfortable with.

Like I said, I have a lot of guy friends but also, lately I've been feeling like one is reaching that potential best friend territory. I think I had a crush on him for approximately 48 hours before I realized just because he was a nice guy, didn't mean I had to like him. In fact I think all along my mind has been testing me and finally I've passed. It hit me one day when I was messaging back in forth with him. Unlike other guys I was crushing on, I didn't get butterflies when I talked to him, I didn't even feel like I needed him to talk to me first. It wasn't awkward when I did talk to him first and IU didn't feel scared or have to force myself to do it. On the rare occasion that he didn't respond, I didn't feel like the world had caved in. This friends, is what it feels like to have a good friend, who is just that, a good friend.

 I won’t disclose names but I'll show some comparisons of him, one of my female best friends, and a crush.

Best friend will be called, Lovely girl

Guy friend will be called, awesome guy

Crush will be called, X

When I text them and they don't respond, my reaction for...

Lovely girl, that little twit! I'm going to repeatedly text her to annoy her."hey." "hey" "hey"

Awesome guy, *texts him again* You can hide from me, but I'm still lurking in your closet o.O

X, "Oh my god he hates me! Ugh! He probably thinks I'm such a creep! Oh well, time to cyber stalk him."

When they give me a compliment

Lovely Girl, This is why we're friends yo":) Do you think X agrees?"

Awesome Guy, “OH stahp it you ^_^. You can't see it but I'm snort giggling bashfully."

X, asdfghjkl! he said my hair was pretty! Oh he is soo going to propose to me! "haha thanks."

And finally

When they ask what I'm doing for the weekend

Lovely Girl, "What am I doing this weekend? But..But I thought we were going to find the bridge to Teribitihia together this weekend Dx"

Awesome guy, “Making out with the phantom, what else?"(We have this inside joke because of my obsession with the phantom of the opera: P)

X, marrying you? "Not sure. I need to find someone to make plans with, ;)"

When it all comes down to it, to make it work, there should be no awkwardness. There shouldn't be anything that you two feel uncomfortable talking about. Whether it is your crushes or dreams for the future. Always be open and honest.  These are just my opinions though; we have yet to see if they work.

What do you think? Can guys and girls be best friends?

(I'm thinking about doing a part two of this and also creating a quiz to see if you and your guy friend are getting closer to bf territory or bgf. Let me know if you'd like that :)

Wednesday Night Poetry

The school week is almost over! Don't give up we can make it another two days! Until then, here be a poem I wrote last week :)

Yes I realize it went from stanzas into a mess of free verse but that's kind of how emotion works right?

Not Good Enough

A Poem by K.Leah Lotus

All Rights Reserved 

Copyright © 2013

Strike the match as if it might burn

hope is the spark of the soul

you long for the dance of the magical flair

-on your skin

in a world of

this desolate cold

Warm embrace, you beg for it's touch

it's chest inflated with pride

its yours for the taking, it summons you near

whispering

beckoning

you'll be satisfied

Strike one, it sparked, but sputtered till death

and you try once more to ignite

and with palms slick with sweat, you try yet again

hoping

that this time

you'll finally light

and it does! and the glow, luminous! Bright!

but you see that you're scorched

by his and hers, they produce searing flames

you dwindle

so you fade

and you lower your torch

it still burns you

searing your gentle flesh

popping

ingniting!

this small piece of lighting

has turned on you 

that one strike

the sharp friction

of wood on wood

on metal

on stone

the competition has gone

and now you're all alone

a dream deferred?

a competitor forgotten

this flare 

has been

smothered

into the  dust

you're light has not shown

because you're not good enough

Critical Old People

   

  So today I was at a church picnic and after making my plate of two cookies and a turkey sandwich, I migrated over to my grandparents table. I had breakfast like two hours ago so I wasn't really hungry or eating the food I did have. Anyways, before I go on I should provide some back-story. *Cue music of your preference*

      In my family, for some odd reason, the old women have a twisted view on beauty. Your skin has to be a perfect complexion, you have to be lean, you're boyfriend or girlfriend has to be attractive to be accepted and if you have a baby, it better be gorgeous too.( Like...what baby isn't gorgeous again?) Here's the sick part, NONE of these old bats fit the descriptions that they force upon the younger generations of our family.It's safe to say that no, I don't deal with this section of my family at all and neither do a lot of the nieces nephews and children of that generation. Like my mom for instance, she has always raised me to believe that all girls are beautiful. It doesn't matter your body type, eye shape, skin color, hair length or face shape. We're all works of art.

     My grandmother is a part of that older generation and she's always been around that negative way of thinking. However, she's different in the fact that she's one of the sweetest people you will ever meet and she doesn't make an effort to hurt people's self worth. That doesn't mean none of their ways of thinking havent rubbed off on her. Still, imagine my surprise when I came over to the table, she looks me up and down and with a smile, says, "You're gaining weight. Maybe you should by your clothes in a bigger size." My heart dropped and all I could think to do was to laugh it off. On the inside though, I couldn't even will myself to look at the untouched food on my plate. Gained weight? I kept thinking. But I've lost weight since the beginning of the summer. I weighed around 124 in july but recently noticed that somehow that dropped to 118 in those months. I mean, I'm no stick but 118 pounds stretching over a girl who's 5'9 seems quite healthy to me.

     I found myself at home later, sitting on the treadmill wondering what else about me was wrong or unattractive? Did I dress bad? Did my hairstyle make my nose seem even bigger than it already is? Is this the reason that gorgeous boy from church didn't give me a second glance?

     Being religious, on Sundays my grandparents have literally tried to squeeze me into the same puffy sleeved communion dress I wore when I was ten, and not to mention the baggy clothes sets from the fourteen hundreds. Each time I've dodged it though, making an excuse or never really trying it on and claiming I'm much to tall for whatever mermaid man or barnacle boy suit they've prepared for me. My sister however, hasn't always been so lucky and since she's shorter and younger, she had the unfortunate privilege of spending an entire day in the same puffy dress my mother wore when she was seven. BUT MY SISTER IS THIRTEEN. I didn't really think about any of this until my sister approached the table next. Today, she'd been lucky enough to dress herself since we hadn't stayed the night at their house. Like me, she was wearing skinny jeans and a reasonable top. My grandmother looked her up and down, and told her the exact thing she'd told me. "You're getting thick. We need to take you shopping for some bigger clothes."

     By then, it was pretty clear that she had a huge problem with our outfit choices(though I swear we were dressed decently). Because the only way to say my little sister is fat is you're looking through the mirrors in a fun house. Okay, you don't like us wearing skinny jeans to church, whatever. But the look on my sisters face was worse than mine and I found myself leading her away on immediate damage control to make sure she hadn't been as effected by I was by the comment.  

     Isn't it amazing how one comment can completely shatter a persons self worth? It's like a cycle. I remember a few months ago at my grandmas house; her sister in law was visiting and she said something along the lines of, "You know, you're the only one of your sisters who gained weight as you got older." *cough* BULL! GET A NEW PAIR OF GLASSES OLD LADY! YOU"RE NO SLENDERMAN YOURSELF!

      What was up with that? Seriously. I mean, I hate to be discriminatory because I know that all older people are not like this, but what is it with senior citizens being so focused on looks?! Ever heard that, "Oh, you're gonna be a heart breaker when you get older," comment? Why must we draw so much attention to looks and attraction? It's bad enough it's all around us in media but hey, why not start 'em off only in your own family?

Sarcasm -.-

So that was a little rant that I thought I'd share with you guys. I used to do regular blog posts like this more often so if you liked this, let me know and I'll try to do more in this kind of format.

    Have a great week and remember no matter what anyone says(or their intentions) God made you who are you are for a reason. Don't let the way people see you affect the way you see the beauty in yourself or in others. Enjoy the rest of your day and if I don't post again in the next two weeks, just know I've been arrested for chasing old people around in a grim reaper costume.

Reasons to love Brendon Uri

Hey my lovely weirdo's. First of all, if you aren't siting in front of your computer screen with a plate of cyber cookies please begone! I mean, I have been making an incredible effort to get you guys more posts and that, my friends, is pretty deserving of some virtually consumable cookies. Alas, the point of this post is not to ridicule you for not appreciating my effort but it is a post where fans and non-fan's a like shall bask in the glory of one of my semi-obsessive loves.

Let us begin!

Reasons to Love Brendon Uri

For fans of : 

FUN. 

Fall Out Boy

Vine(the app)

Coffee

Escaping Normal Biography: Brendan Uri is a singer in the band Panic! At The Disco. His vocals are wiggity wack wowza incredible and he's married to a pretty doe eyed chick who reminds me of Katy Perry.

1. His Voice
Okay so this dude has some serious pipes. Think Nate from FUN. with a little bit of quirky edge and even crazier range. I honestly didn't think it could get any better until I stumbled across the song C'mon, in which he and Nate are both attempting to make me die of happiness. I promise, the song is perfection.

2. His Vines
Fan or not, if you happen to stumble across a Brendon Urie Vine on youtube, you will be hooked. Not only is he just effortlessly hilarious, but the fact that he actually makes time in his busy schedule to let people into his personal life with him at home or driving, or whatever, is incredible.

And here we see a compilation of every vine he's ever made.

3.His mouth
Like Josh Hutchinsons jaw or Angelina Jolie's leg, there's something dad gum intriguing about his lips. I swear that's not me being a boy crazy girl, it's just true.


4.His personality
pretty self explanatory

5.His diversity
I already mentioned how much I love the song, C'mon but if you'd believe it, all of his Panic! At The Disco's songs don't have that light bouncy soaring feel. Now, this is more of the band than just him but I give them major props for being able to make such varying songs with an overall similar sound. A good example is
I Write Sins Not Tragedies vs. Mrs.Jackson. Listen to them both and tell me if you see the difference.

6. His style
If I were a guy...he'd be my fashion idol. I'd probably be a really weird guy.

8. He used to be a nerd!(according to this image)
Just..yesss

And finally, I leave you with a video of P!ATD doing an acoustic performance. 

So just a small note, I think once every other week, I'll just be doing posts like this with a different person each time. If you're a fan, let me know in the comments and let me know of some people you absolutely adore and I might post about them!

Weekly Wrap up-Things to take with you into this new week

1. Confidence- It's not about how others perceive you, it's about how you see yourself. Everyone struggles with confidence at some point. But Have no fear! This week over at J.o.a.l.l.o.p. the girls provided 7 days worth of uplifting and inspiring words.
Missed it? Check it out here

2. What makes a good opening to your story? Here, we were given a set of questions to help decipher whether or not our opening chapters were any good. Also, a chance to have our writing featured on a blog?
Interested? Of course you are! click this

3. Miley Cyrus still Cant Be Tamed...
hehehe okay nothing against her like, at all. I actually like her new songs, it just..that music video for wrecking ball was one of the awkwardest(no its not a word) things I've ever seen. awkwarder than the word awkwarder or awkwardest. That's pretty awkward.

4.Cinderella's getting her own movie adaptation! Don't think the exclamation mark means I'm happy about this. Cinderella was my least favorite princess growing up. I never had a true reason but I suppose it was because she was so darn helpless. I mean seriously, dudette, you feed these evil step sisters and step mom breakfast lunch and dinner. You've never felt inclined to put ground glass in their coffee? You do realize you'd inherit everything tright?
That's beside the point though, Cinderella has a chance to redeem herself in my eyes, and even though I wasn't all that excited nor did I see the snow white remakes, I'm actually kind of pumped for this one!
Click here for more information

5. New Teens React and Youtubers React!
Teens React to Ylvis the fox
Youtubers React to Mass Text


6. Monday may be the worse day ever, so here is something to remember if the wicked Monday trolls try to bring you down,

My Fall Bucket List

Fall Expectation

vs.

Reality

I was gonna start this post off with all the things I love about Fall and I ran across the picture up top which pretty much sums it up. I mean, Hoodies, Hot cocoa,boots, jeans,cuddling, crisp air, and flushed cheeks. That's just a whole lotta yesness for one season. And in the perfect world, maybe that would be majorly true. Unfortunately, my reality usually is being huddled up in piled on sweatshirts because of my earlier decision to not use my shopping money to by a coat. During this time I am usually as sick as a salmon and no one would get close enough to pass me a tissue, let alone cuddle.

However, I still love fall! The cold weather usually comes so abruptly, it's quite hard to adjust to, but once you do it's suddenly like everything is just that much more dreamy and pumpkin scented. And I dont even like pumpkins! According to wikki answers, fall officially began September 22 and ends december 20th.(Whodathunkit) in the mean time, here are all the things I wish to accomplish while the leaves are crunchy and the sky is just dim enough to have an excuse to cuddle up inside and read a book.

My Fall Bucket List

1. Go to a bonfire

2. Take a walk in a sea of fallen leaves

3. Lay out a blanket and read outside with my dogs

4. Discover the perfect hot choclate recipe
5. Carve a pumpkin
6. Buy another pair of boots!
7. Five free hugs! (hey, it's cold out! Why not right?)
8. Read five books
9. Go to a cafe wearing a creepy mask and sit there and write for a few hours as people stare at me
10.Watch a scary movie
12. Haunted house!
13. Complete one completely out of this world dare
14.Have a switched at birth marathon

Lol so yeah, my list is kinda lame but these be my goals! I'd love to know what you're plans are for the fall! Also, what are your favorite things about this time of year?

You're a Writer, Claim the Title

Hey everyone. So I don't have anything interesting to say but I found this online and I thought I'd share it. 

Ollie With An H (Excerpt)

Once again, I am at a complete and total loss for what to write about today. I need to stay true to my one post a week however, so i decided to introduce you all to my newest project I'm undergoing. if you read my work, you'll notice immediately that this does not have that deep dramatic tone. This was really me proving to myself that i can write happy fluffiness with no complete depression or sadness XD This is the first chapter.

Ollie with An H 
All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013 

1.Million,Billion,Trillion,Gazillion

       Song Inspiration: Wild Child ~Juliette Simms

     "He's wearing blue paint as pants! Paint! Ohemgee Holland, you have to look!"

I felt my arm roll in an out of its socket by the tug of Quinn’s unusually forceful grasp.

"Will you please repeat that sentence and then tell yourself why I'm not going to look?" 

     I averted my eyes instead, to a group of guys playing instruments on the lawn. Heavy combat boots and worn converse sneakers trampled over each and every inch of this venue. It was bad enough that they could simply sit on the filthy ground; the fact that one of them actually was laying a sloppy cheeseburger on the cement was enough to make me gag.

And I, Holland Gray never gagged; along with other things.

"This is so incredible! Don't you agree? What am I saying? Of course you agree! Everyone here is so free!” she gasped for air when she finished exclaiming.

"Yeah well that guy won’t be free once someone reports him for indecent exposure." I said, disinterested.

     There was a sharp pain in my neck as I tried to avoid the scene my best friend swooned at. My eyes had fallen on one of the five who sat with their instruments. A pair of cherry red headphones adorned his ears as his head swayed lightly. He tapped at the gum stained cement with untied shoes. His fingers wrapped around a badly chewed pencil as he scribbled ferociously at a notepad sitting in his lap.   Quinn was saying something about being in love with unhinged freedom when the boy I was watching looked up. His light brown eyes were like magnets in the way the grabbed mine; my punishment for staring. I swallowed, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of a torrent of butterflies attacking my stomach. I jerked my eyes away. My neck was like a tightly drawn rubber-band in the way it popped back in Quinn’s direction. And that's when I saw it.

Blue...just so much blue.

"Hello ladies." An extended hand came into my view but I was still left in shock at what my poor eyes had just witnessed after of,course,that awkward stare off.

The avatar man who stood before me took this opportunity to take my hand in his to shake it. But it wasn't until Quinn thumped me in the back of the head that I pulled my eyes up to see his face. He had a young charming features and sandy blonde hair. The only thing that was missing was clothes.

"Uhm, uhm." I stuttered.

"This is my friend Holland." Quinn spoke up for me, while ever so eloquently elbowing me.

"It's nice to meet you Holland." He said, watching me with an amused expression before turning to her. "And you are?"

"Quinn, Quinn Kassidy." she beamed. "I’ll be competing in the Battle of the Bass this year."

He took her hand, but instead of the warm shake he'd given me, he lifted hers and kissed it. Now, I was sure my gag reflexes did indeed work.

"I'm Brice, front man of Element. I put together an electric guitar version of the Earth song for my audition. It's a tribute to-"

He interrupted himself, making me jump back as he leapt into the air to do a hurky. He landed sloppy, blonde hair falling over his face as he finished saying, "mother earth."

Was this guy seriously using spirit fingers?

Quinn giggled. "I look forward to seeing your performance."

"Yours too." he said grinning. He was obviously quite confident in his blue stained skin. "Heads up though. This competition is not for the weak. There's a million dollar contract on the line. This year I'm pulling out all the stops."

My motor skills had finally picked up, and my eyes had adjusted to the idea that a naked kid was standing in front of us carrying on a casual conversation.

"A million dollar contract?! Quinn! You told me this was just a small talent show!"

She shrugged nervously, "I left out a few small details."

"Excuse me while my best friend chews my head off." Quinn said reluctantly, reading my mind. She let me drag her off a few feet away, Brice's view of us being blocked buy a large man having a lively cellphone conversation.

"What's going on here?" I hissed. "You lied to me about this! Your mom thinks we're here for a nonprofit talent show! That means technically, I lied to my parents and yours!"

"No, it means technically you're covering for me which isn't as bad."

I crossed my arms over my chest.

She rolled her eyes and it looked like she just might laugh, which only made me even more delirious. "Come on Holland, live a little! This could change my life and yours!"

"My life will be over the moment I step back into my front door."

     I'd already pulled out my cellphone to confess to my mother what a terrible delinquent I'd been. I'd crossed the line already by letting Quinn dress me this morning when my parents had left for work. A shredded midriff bearing tank top and a patterned mini skirt with a pair of high top chucks. Within twenty minutes, she had turned Holland Gray, the conservative good-girl, into a harlot.

She took my phone, clicking the lock screen.

"You know, I find it kind of sick that I have to tell you that you don't have to tell your parents about this."

I gave her a look. She knew good and well that I was not good at lying to my parents.

"Look, what is it? Do you not have any faith in me? I expect that from my family but not you Holland. Please."

I sighed opening my mouth to speak. Before I could, the naked boy popped his head around the man who'd served as a divider. The man's lip snarled up in disguist and he bumbled away, mumbling under his breath.

"So you guys are doing a duet?" he questioned, strolling over.

"I wish. Holland here is selfish, she likes to keep her beautiful voice to herself." Quinn said, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder.

I waved her comments off, "I'm not into the whole fame and fortune thing. I love music for what it is."

"We're touched Holland,really. But that makes me a lonely solo act."

"And I'm your groupie." I followed sarcastically, still partially fuming that she hadn't told me how big of a deal this was.

Brice chuckled. "You girls are funny; you should come over to the green where the rest of the acts are practicing. I can introduce you to everyone here."

"We'd love to!" Quinn piped up, shooting me a pleading look. She forfeited my cellphone back to me. "That is if my best friend doesn't mind breaking curfew."

     I swallowed down all my reservations realizing how big of a deal this really could be. Quinn was talented at four; she was out of this world at thirteen. Now at seventeen years old, smack dab in New York city, she was skilled enough to be chosen as one of the top hundred performing in this, "small talent show." I had no doubt in her ability to go far as a singer, I just wasn't sure I was ready to be left behind when it happened.

I took a deep breath. Holland Gray was a good friend until the bitter end, “Fine. Let's make you famous."

Constructive Critiscm

What would you say if I told you that I could see you through your computer? Yeah, I can totally see you through your computer and we need to talk..about your hair. I can totally see that at some point, you actually put some work into but I just need to tell you this because I love you(tube), You didn't do a very good job. I mean, what can I say? It's absolutely terrible, you need to use the proper left hand right hand technique when you use your comb and brush! You should only blow dry for approximately 15 minutes and everyone knows that when you condition you should massage your head in counterclockwise rhythms. I know, I know...It probably hurts your feelings, but you understand right? I mean...it's only constructive criticism.

Here's the thing with constructive criticism, it's extremely subjective. Different people react to it differently, and different people use it in different ways.

Majority of the time, when given constructive criticism, a person will take it and use it, but then there are other times.The reaction usually goes as follows...

or my favorite, when you ask if they get it. They say they're fine but you know,

So how do you know how you should take constructive feedback? How do you know if the person has your best interest in mind, or if they're just one of those people who use "no offence" to blatantly offend you? As someone who writes and draws, I personally love constructive criticism. In fact, I will pester people to tell me the truth if I feel they're being too nice about something I've showed them. But ofc ourse I have those days when I wonder if this person is saying it to be mean or if they're really trying to help. here's a good example, this is a drawing of mine. (I realize the shading is off)

I personally thought it was pretty good, I hadn't drawn in about three months and when I did this it was trying something completely from my mind and using tools I never used before. Anyways, I was swapping art work with someone I didn't know, we were just sharing art. I complimented hers but when she looked at mine, her reaction was, "Wait what is it?" So I told her maybe she should flip it because it was upside down and she said, she already flipped it, she still couldn't tell. Felling extremely embarrassed, I explained what it was and her reply was, "Ohh now I get it!!!But aren't the eyes to big? And is the face anatomy okay? O.e Its awesome! I can't even think of making that without any reference."

I wasn't angry at this, and I agreed. I mean, she complimented it right? Sure, the eyes actually were kinda big and I guess if the face anatomy wasn't covered by a bandana, it maybe was a little off. But a part of me also felt a little hurt. Like, either maybe my art wasn't good, or maybe the girl just felt like being mean. I mean, was it really that hard to tell what it was? I didn't know what to think about it. Was it constructive criticism? More than likely I was just being overly sensitive, either way, it brings me to this point, Everyone at some point is going to get some feedback that they may not like. Whether it is true or not, it will be impossible to tell with some people. But learning to handle constructive criticism is what we can do. So here are some tips when dealing with feedback

1.Use the advice, don't abuse the advice(Dod Gammit, I'm a philosopher!!! Somebody better tweet that!)

-Always take a moment to think about what someone has said when they are trying to be constructive. However, don't dwell on it. Especially if it was something that was really hard to swallow. Use that advice to improve but don't let it linger in your mind. Don't keep coming back to the words they spoke because every time you do, your mind will twist it into something it's not.

2.Put yourself in their shoes.

- The fact of the matter is, I'm not always right, you're not always right. No one wants to admit it but its true.If someone asked your advice, I'd hope you want the best for them. That either means being nice and lying, which is...lying to someone you care about. Orrrrrr it could mean telling the truth because you want them to do better, or you simply tell it like it is because hey, they asked. Whichever reason, how would you critique something you thought wasn't perfect if the shoe was on the other foot? I'd hope you'd be honest.

3.Agree!

I learned this in either us. history or some other class last year. You need to agree with something they say because 9 times out of ten, they are at least partially correct. You don't have to agree with everything but don't act like you have no fault whatsoever. Also, if you agree, it will take some of the burn away on both ends.

So what do you think? Have you ever gotten some feedback that you weren't so happy about? ow did you handle it?

Guess who was nominated for what....(Reposted)

I was nominated for a Liebster Award by a fellow blogger Ony! EEEEEEP I'm soooo happy! EEEEEPP I'm a monkey! EEEEEP what the heck am I doing that for?

As with all things, there are rules, EEEP! Sorry, couldn't help myself. And now I must slowly turn my eyes down as I get annoyed looks from my mother...nice going. Anywho...here be ye rules!

    1.Link back to ze person who nominated you 
    2.Answer ze 11 questions given to you by ze nominee
   3.Pick 11 bloggers with under 200 followers to be nominated
   4. Come up wiz 11 questions for your nominees to answer
   5.Notify ze nominees "

Step one:

http://anonymousony.blogspot.com/ (Ony's fabulous blog)

Check.

Stepety 2:
1. Why do you blog? I Kept a diary once..didn't turn out to good. A semi tell all blog about being a writer(oh the irony)seemed like the next step to sanity.
2. Favorite song?This question! DIEEEEE! UGGHHHH I HATE IT! there are so many songs i'm obsessed with right now. I suppose I'll choose Antivist by Bring Me the Horizon.
3. Are you in any fandoms? YUSSHHHHH. Well kinda, I don't really like to label myself like how directioners are directioners or beliebers are beliebers. I'm just a fan.  I love Pierce the Veil though and I think that fandom is called the Sexicans or the Vielers?...so I guess that's me? XD
4. Do you have an idol, if so who?Jesus!...no that wasn't a joke, it really is Jesus. I wish I could be as perfect.
5. If you can go anywhere in the world where would you go? Macchu picchu in Peru, Greece, Rome,Paris, Martinique
6. Favorite color and why?Rainbow!!! I hate single colors! I want them all to be together
7. Would you rather be toeless, of fingerless? neither. I know, I'm no fun
8. Strangest Dream you've ever had? The kung-foo fighting beagle. *shivers. So he started off walking with a cane right? Next thing I know, the sucker is busting all kinds of kung foo moves on me and chasing me up the steps! 
9.  Favorite quote?“A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”

― Maya Angelou

10. Do you have a favorite youtuber, if so who?eeeehhyeah, this one is difficult. I love Joey santagato, jenna marbles, ryan hyga, mazzi maz, jacksgap, zoella, britpop life, sam pepper, caspar lee...and on and on and on
11. Style icon?
hmmm...good question. I really love Shailene woodley's style. It's simple and cute at the same time. She's so normal looking, like she doesnt even wear that much makeup and she's so naturally pretty. Also, I can totally appreciate Rhianna's fearless style. I'm not a huge fan of either of these girls because I'm more into he fashion than their trades but I really do love their styles :)

Step 3:
Ehhh It's not eleven but these guys deserve it...
Nocturnal Instincts

Madelyn

Kathryn munro

The Average Person

MoaCWS

TheJumbledThought

Jenny B

Catherine
Amber Myers

My questions for you! (Answer them on your blog)

1.How did you come up with your blog name?

2. Dream Job?

3.What's the last movie you've seen? rate it

4.What was the most annoying song of the summer? Why?

5.Pancakes or Waffles?

6. Favorite superhero?

7.What color would you use to describe you as a person?

8. Guilty Pleasure?( Something you love but you kind of feel embarrassed or bad about. i.e, my guilty pleasure is phineas and pherb)

9. Who inspires you?

10. If any, what quote or saying do you live by?

A look into a teenage writer's world of kissing scenes

So by now you should know that I love writing and if you've seen my post titled, Noise, you'll also know that I'm a total sucker for cute fluffy romance. Unfortunately, if it's not a short story, then eventually cute fluffy romance leads up and up until you reach that dreaded moment...the KISSING SCENE! dun dun dun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was faced with this problem last week as I opened up chapter eighteen of Don't Save My Life and told myself, "Today is the day. Your readers have waited patiently for this moment. You will not choke."

Armed with a glass of water and dry coco puffs, I set at it again. but another 6 hours later, I ended up with(drumrolll please) a cute little four hundred word; before, after, and during this uncomfortable scene excerpt. I think the hardest part of writing a kissing scene for a teeenager like me,(one who still subconsciously closes her eyes when princess jasmine and Aladdin kiss.) is knowing how much is enough, and how much will or will not satisfy. 

Here's the thing, you want to make it incredible! I mean, that's what you've built your readers up for! that moment where it clicks that these two might actually have a future after all of your incessant jeering from outside the walls of the pages. Otherwise, there is no doubt that there will be an angry mob of readers storming your home at two o'clock in the morning. Trust me I've been one of them!

When it comes down to it, there are so many questions dealing with the perfect first kiss in a book.

Will it accidentally turn into a make out scene?

Will it be too bland it it's not a make-out scene?

Do sparks really fly? will that fly with your readers?

Was there a zing! can love be love without a zing! Mayvis had a zing! i need a zing!!!!!

Fortunately I managed to sort it all out. Now in honor of getting past this grueling period in my life, I'd like to celebrate by displaying the best kisses ever. Disney kisses!!! I also just downloaded a ton of old disney soundtrack songs to my cell phone. I'm feeling extremely Disney right now!

So what was the cutest disney kiss in your opinion? What about disney love stories in general? Also, please tell me in the comment's if you'd like to see a post that gives you the excerpt of the scene :)