So recently I've been feeling rather dragged down with the progress of a novel I've been writing. I want to say I started it a little before new year's last year so maybe I've been working on it for about a good two years. I recently started querying for this special trilogy when I finished the third draft. After four rejection letters I realized I needed to take a break and draft again. Enter draft number four.
Now before I began this a few weeks ago I was very depressed. I had a dream to be published before I graduated and from the looks of it, I just wasn't good enough to ever live out that dream. My story would never be told. These people who have lived before my very eyes for a little over a year would never be made real in the eyes of readers. I was stuck. In my mind everything was against me, everything.
Things going against me
- A trilogy is too ambitious, I've spent a year on just one book as it is!
- No agent will ever want me. I'm inexperienced and a project this big is too much for any amateur
- People will start loosing faith in me and my ability to write
- There are so many amazing stories and writers out there, why in the world could I ever be one of them?
These were just a few of the things that kept me weighted down. I no longer went to sleep dreaming about becoming a writer and signing at book events. I could have started another draft and started again, but every time I sat down to write I'd just think to myself, "all of these things are going against me. Why bother?"
I hope this post appeals to you outside of writing because I know a lot you are not writers. Have you ever had that feeling with any passion at all? That you'd never be good enough or never get to accomplish a goal that means everything to you?
After talking to some people and reading some online articles I discovered something. Whatever this unattainable goal is, do not let it make you fall out of love with your passion. If you have a goal, where did it stem from? My goal to be published stemmed from my love of writing and my want to share my writing. It came from that feeling I got when I stayed up until 4am every night typing up a world within the world I lived in. I wanted people to be taken away from there own problems with my story the way writing it swept me away from everything that was bothering me. I wanted to tell a story, and I wanted to put my heart and soul into writing, and that's exactly what I did.
Why bother?
Why bother practicing if you'll never get that solo you've been dreaming about in chorus?
Why bother training if you'll never be good enough to be in the Olympics.
Why participate in pageants if you'll never be a famous actress/singer/model?
The answer is simpler than you think, because you love what you're doing.
Sometimes we need to take a step back from the glory that could come from accomplishing a goal and remember where this goal came from. If you are pouring your heart and soul into something, I hope it's because it's something you love. If it is something you love, then no failure or success could ever take that from you.
I've started writing again and I am still completed committed to this same story. For now, all I'm focusing on is writing the best story I can and improving myself more and more. Writing started because of my imagination, I love telling stories and that hasn't changed. I'm still able to tell stories, and I'm still able to hear the click of keyboard beneath my fingers. For now, I'm focused on the glory and happiness I get from that.
Wow...that got kinda deep. *takes off rain boots*
Never stop writing, from what you have let me read i think you are amazing. Sooner or later you will get your work published just never stop writing. :)
ReplyDeleteLove this post by the way!
Thanks so much ambs :)
DeleteI think that once you start having doubts it's a good thing. Usually the people who don't think they're very good and don't believe people who tell them they're writing is good are actually much better than they think. I love your conclusion that our passions are what we love. We do them mainly because we love them. And THAT, my friend, is why you can get nothing but better. I never used to understand why track stars or basketball players would want to play their sport outside of games. Well, they probably can't understand why I'd want to write a book, let alone keep doing more, especially when I know that these beginning books are most likely not going to get published. I keep creating and keep creating knowing that I will and have more room to get better. So, if you don't get published by the time you graduate, I wouldn't sweat it. I'm not planning on getting published until I can get all of the education I need on this possible. Even if it means after college I go to grad school. And I'll write a hundred and three crappy novels along the way. (:
ReplyDeleteSorry for my (extremely long) two bits I put in. Anyways . . .
I soo agree with every single word of those very long two bits :P
DeleteI love this post and I can totally relate. I want to publish my story and publish another series. But starting off with a single novel would be a simpler start than a series. Because in a series each book has to keep the reader interested and good. And that's hard to do. But if you wanna write a trilogy and or series go ahead! Write whatever; that's what I'm going to do. And you'll never know if your going to be one of those amazing writers until you get published and get your book out there. So continue to write and maybe I'll see something from you one day ;). Remember, J.K Rowling was denied 12 times and worked on Harry Potter for YEARS and now look at her.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, if I could go back I'd definitely start with a single book, a series is a LOT of work. I'm sure I'll see you published one day too!
DeleteThank you for this wonderful post. Just when I thought things about my hopeful music career could NOT get worse, this came along and pretty much made my day. :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment made my day!
Deletethe gif is from mean girls right?
ReplyDeletehttp://williamthebutler.wordpress.com/
yep!
DeleteLeah, I totally understand where your coming from, but you are an amazing writer nevertheless! Ive started working on my novel...since the middle of this year, I believe? This is my first time ever trying to wrire an entire novel...it's pretty hard. I haven't even made it 100 pages yet. My friend's think it's comical but they dont understand theres more to writing a novel than a pen and paper!
ReplyDeleteBut Leah, don't get disgruntled now! If any of us Teen writers are to be published, It has to be you. It just has to be. Just remember Suzanne Collins ( Hunger Games author ) Stephanie Meyer ( Twilight author ) and all those other big shots got turned down a handful of times until someone decided to pick them up! You have like a year left of highschool, right? Well in that time period you won't give up, you will swarm back into that rough draft and then you'll continue to send your work to the world *cyber high 3 , and i pass the plate of cyber cookies to you* You eat those cookies :)
Just know, I love your writing and your not even a published autbor yet but I'm certain you have fans... :)
One more thing, You should make sure you dont tweak and alter your story after every rejection there has to be someone who loves it as it is.....I'll pray on this :)