Sunday, October 13, 2013

Can girls and Guys be best friends?

(Insert proper greeting here)
     Guess who went to ze magical library yesterday?! MEEEE! Gah! Getting new books gives me such a high. Especially when it's a book I was nearly about to actually purchase when I ran out of checkout resources. You may be wondering what book could possibly have me stalking it for so long without loosing interest and if you're not, too bad because I shall tell you anyway. Drumroll please?


     It's called Wake; the very first installment in the Watersong Trilogy by Amanda Hocking. I’d like to tell you how about how anticlimactic things got when I actually got the book in my deadly grasp or how I came to follow Amanda Hockings work but as usual I've wasted too much time babbling about something completely irrelevant. Instead, I'll start back with the title and repeat this age old question that plagues so many of us. Can girls and guys be best friends?

     In Wake, our rather bland MC, Gemma, begins a relationship with a handsome but adorably-nerdy older guy named Alex. Alex also happens to be Harper’s (Gemma's older sister) best friend of many years. Now, throughout the story Hocking reiterates and displays the fact that Harper and Alex have never and would never have feelings for each other. Despite that, it's still weird for Harper and that drives an awkward wedge into her and Alex's friendship.

     I've always been the girl who developed a crush the instant a guy said my name or even looked in my direction. I swear, it's so embarrassing. That's why guys shouldn't show me attention; I'm like a man eater ha-ha. That's beside the point. Up until this year, I maintained a group of mainly girlfriends for this reason. I’ve had guy friends and I always ended up having crushes on them so I decided I'd stick with females. This year things changed. I'm no tomboy, but I do enjoy a lot of "boyish things" and well, I don't exactly fit in with most girls if you can tell unless they're weirdness equals or amplifies mine. I maintain a small group of these awkward little buggars to an extent that I no longer have to really alter my likes to fit in with the other girly girls.

     Somewhere along the way, I made double the amount of guy friends that I have in girlfriends. I realized it recently and I couldn't believe it. I mean really? Has my man-eater curse been lifted? I mean, I am literally not crushing on a single guy I know! I think that started when I made the decision I didn't want to date until college. I don’t like leading guys on, and I don't like guys thinking that they can lead me on so for that, I immediately let guys know that I don't date when I meet them. I think we call it friendzoming in popular media. Gosh, I sound so conceited, obviously not every guy likes me, heck none of them do as far as I'm concerned but the second a bit of flirt comes out I have to squash it.

     Now note in the title, I said "BEST" friends. It's very possible for guys to be just friends or acquaintances. Best friends are when things get complicated. Think about it? If you have a best girlfriend, what do you do? You share crushes, you have sleepovers, and you complement each other to lift each other’s spirits. You're there when they need a shoulder to cry on or a hug and you act silly together.

Imagine doing all that with a guy. Gets a little awkward right?

Now, if you've been best friends since gender didn't matter in kindergarten then you're probably thinking, “We do all of that stuff and it's not weird! “He/she is like my brother or sister! Well if that person is like your brother then at some point, you're going to witness him begin to date and get into serious relationships and vice versa. When a new girlfriend or boyfriend comes into the picture then suddenly you can’t deny that someone is going to be uncomfortable with you and your, "best friend" having sleepovers, confiding in each other and doing these things that you do. You might have to limit the contact to hugs or less and no longer will you be able to call him at any hour crying because a leprechaun pinched you.

Because once a girlfriend comes in the picture, they become the best friend too but on a more romantic level. Choices have to be made and an awkward encounter or two is inevitable. In a perfect world, we could control who our hearts fell in love with. In a perfect world saying someone was "like your brother" always meant that no matter what changes you made as you grew up. But this isn't a perfect world, is it?

Despite this entire thing, I strongly believe that it's possible to be best friends with the opposite gender. If you can overcome all of these contraries that I have mentioned, not only is it possible, but you'll probably have an incredibly strong relationship in the end that even a girlfriend or boyfriend could accept and feel comfortable with.

Like I said, I have a lot of guy friends but also, lately I've been feeling like one is reaching that potential best friend territory. I think I had a crush on him for approximately 48 hours before I realized just because he was a nice guy, didn't mean I had to like him. In fact I think all along my mind has been testing me and finally I've passed. It hit me one day when I was messaging back in forth with him. Unlike other guys I was crushing on, I didn't get butterflies when I talked to him, I didn't even feel like I needed him to talk to me first. It wasn't awkward when I did talk to him first and IU didn't feel scared or have to force myself to do it. On the rare occasion that he didn't respond, I didn't feel like the world had caved in. This friends, is what it feels like to have a good friend, who is just that, a good friend.

 I won’t disclose names but I'll show some comparisons of him, one of my female best friends, and a crush.

Best friend will be called, Lovely girl
Guy friend will be called, awesome guy
Crush will be called, X

When I text them and they don't respond, my reaction for...
Lovely girl, that little twit! I'm going to repeatedly text her to annoy her."hey." "hey" "hey"
Awesome guy, *texts him again* You can hide from me, but I'm still lurking in your closet o.O
X, "Oh my god he hates me! Ugh! He probably thinks I'm such a creep! Oh well, time to cyber stalk him."

When they give me a compliment
Lovely Girl, This is why we're friends yo":) Do you think X agrees?"
Awesome Guy, “OH stahp it you ^_^. You can't see it but I'm snort giggling bashfully."
X, asdfghjkl! he said my hair was pretty! Oh he is soo going to propose to me! "haha thanks."

And finally

When they ask what I'm doing for the weekend
Lovely Girl, "What am I doing this weekend? But..But I thought we were going to find the bridge to Teribitihia together this weekend Dx"
Awesome guy, “Making out with the phantom, what else?"(We have this inside joke because of my obsession with the phantom of the opera: P)
X, marrying you? "Not sure. I need to find someone to make plans with, ;)"

When it all comes down to it, to make it work, there should be no awkwardness. There shouldn't be anything that you two feel uncomfortable talking about. Whether it is your crushes or dreams for the future. Always be open and honest.  These are just my opinions though; we have yet to see if they work.

What do you think? Can guys and girls be best friends?
(I'm thinking about doing a part two of this and also creating a quiz to see if you and your guy friend are getting closer to bf territory or bgf. Let me know if you'd like that :)


  1. What a pretty post! (Yes, out of all the descriptive words in my vocabulary I chose "Pretty" *facepalm*) I absolutely loved how this was a pretty long post but not at all was I feeling bored but intriguied (hmm....I should totally get paid for giving out critism)
    I agree that Girls can be bestfriends with guys, and Guys can be bestfriends with girls. I do however think there will be a certain point in that friendship when you'll think "What the hell am I doing not dating my best friend!?" Even if the friendship does start off not romantically but bromantically , You're friends for a reason. There's something about your friend you find attractive maybe just their awesome personality...but you'll just realise.
    That's my opinion :)

    1. I totally agree,and haha thanks, I always wanted someone to tell me I wrote a pretty post :P


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