Critical Old People

   

  So today I was at a church picnic and after making my plate of two cookies and a turkey sandwich, I migrated over to my grandparents table. I had breakfast like two hours ago so I wasn't really hungry or eating the food I did have. Anyways, before I go on I should provide some back-story. *Cue music of your preference*

      In my family, for some odd reason, the old women have a twisted view on beauty. Your skin has to be a perfect complexion, you have to be lean, you're boyfriend or girlfriend has to be attractive to be accepted and if you have a baby, it better be gorgeous too.( Like...what baby isn't gorgeous again?) Here's the sick part, NONE of these old bats fit the descriptions that they force upon the younger generations of our family.It's safe to say that no, I don't deal with this section of my family at all and neither do a lot of the nieces nephews and children of that generation. Like my mom for instance, she has always raised me to believe that all girls are beautiful. It doesn't matter your body type, eye shape, skin color, hair length or face shape. We're all works of art.

     My grandmother is a part of that older generation and she's always been around that negative way of thinking. However, she's different in the fact that she's one of the sweetest people you will ever meet and she doesn't make an effort to hurt people's self worth. That doesn't mean none of their ways of thinking havent rubbed off on her. Still, imagine my surprise when I came over to the table, she looks me up and down and with a smile, says, "You're gaining weight. Maybe you should by your clothes in a bigger size." My heart dropped and all I could think to do was to laugh it off. On the inside though, I couldn't even will myself to look at the untouched food on my plate. Gained weight? I kept thinking. But I've lost weight since the beginning of the summer. I weighed around 124 in july but recently noticed that somehow that dropped to 118 in those months. I mean, I'm no stick but 118 pounds stretching over a girl who's 5'9 seems quite healthy to me.

     I found myself at home later, sitting on the treadmill wondering what else about me was wrong or unattractive? Did I dress bad? Did my hairstyle make my nose seem even bigger than it already is? Is this the reason that gorgeous boy from church didn't give me a second glance?

     Being religious, on Sundays my grandparents have literally tried to squeeze me into the same puffy sleeved communion dress I wore when I was ten, and not to mention the baggy clothes sets from the fourteen hundreds. Each time I've dodged it though, making an excuse or never really trying it on and claiming I'm much to tall for whatever mermaid man or barnacle boy suit they've prepared for me. My sister however, hasn't always been so lucky and since she's shorter and younger, she had the unfortunate privilege of spending an entire day in the same puffy dress my mother wore when she was seven. BUT MY SISTER IS THIRTEEN. I didn't really think about any of this until my sister approached the table next. Today, she'd been lucky enough to dress herself since we hadn't stayed the night at their house. Like me, she was wearing skinny jeans and a reasonable top. My grandmother looked her up and down, and told her the exact thing she'd told me. "You're getting thick. We need to take you shopping for some bigger clothes."

     By then, it was pretty clear that she had a huge problem with our outfit choices(though I swear we were dressed decently). Because the only way to say my little sister is fat is you're looking through the mirrors in a fun house. Okay, you don't like us wearing skinny jeans to church, whatever. But the look on my sisters face was worse than mine and I found myself leading her away on immediate damage control to make sure she hadn't been as effected by I was by the comment.  

     Isn't it amazing how one comment can completely shatter a persons self worth? It's like a cycle. I remember a few months ago at my grandmas house; her sister in law was visiting and she said something along the lines of, "You know, you're the only one of your sisters who gained weight as you got older." *cough* BULL! GET A NEW PAIR OF GLASSES OLD LADY! YOU"RE NO SLENDERMAN YOURSELF!

      What was up with that? Seriously. I mean, I hate to be discriminatory because I know that all older people are not like this, but what is it with senior citizens being so focused on looks?! Ever heard that, "Oh, you're gonna be a heart breaker when you get older," comment? Why must we draw so much attention to looks and attraction? It's bad enough it's all around us in media but hey, why not start 'em off only in your own family?

Sarcasm -.-

So that was a little rant that I thought I'd share with you guys. I used to do regular blog posts like this more often so if you liked this, let me know and I'll try to do more in this kind of format.

    Have a great week and remember no matter what anyone says(or their intentions) God made you who are you are for a reason. Don't let the way people see you affect the way you see the beauty in yourself or in others. Enjoy the rest of your day and if I don't post again in the next two weeks, just know I've been arrested for chasing old people around in a grim reaper costume.

Reasons to love Brendon Uri

Hey my lovely weirdo's. First of all, if you aren't siting in front of your computer screen with a plate of cyber cookies please begone! I mean, I have been making an incredible effort to get you guys more posts and that, my friends, is pretty deserving of some virtually consumable cookies. Alas, the point of this post is not to ridicule you for not appreciating my effort but it is a post where fans and non-fan's a like shall bask in the glory of one of my semi-obsessive loves.

Let us begin!

Reasons to Love Brendon Uri

For fans of : 

FUN. 

Fall Out Boy

Vine(the app)

Coffee

Escaping Normal Biography: Brendan Uri is a singer in the band Panic! At The Disco. His vocals are wiggity wack wowza incredible and he's married to a pretty doe eyed chick who reminds me of Katy Perry.

1. His Voice
Okay so this dude has some serious pipes. Think Nate from FUN. with a little bit of quirky edge and even crazier range. I honestly didn't think it could get any better until I stumbled across the song C'mon, in which he and Nate are both attempting to make me die of happiness. I promise, the song is perfection.

2. His Vines
Fan or not, if you happen to stumble across a Brendon Urie Vine on youtube, you will be hooked. Not only is he just effortlessly hilarious, but the fact that he actually makes time in his busy schedule to let people into his personal life with him at home or driving, or whatever, is incredible.

And here we see a compilation of every vine he's ever made.

3.His mouth
Like Josh Hutchinsons jaw or Angelina Jolie's leg, there's something dad gum intriguing about his lips. I swear that's not me being a boy crazy girl, it's just true.


4.His personality
pretty self explanatory

5.His diversity
I already mentioned how much I love the song, C'mon but if you'd believe it, all of his Panic! At The Disco's songs don't have that light bouncy soaring feel. Now, this is more of the band than just him but I give them major props for being able to make such varying songs with an overall similar sound. A good example is
I Write Sins Not Tragedies vs. Mrs.Jackson. Listen to them both and tell me if you see the difference.

6. His style
If I were a guy...he'd be my fashion idol. I'd probably be a really weird guy.

8. He used to be a nerd!(according to this image)
Just..yesss

And finally, I leave you with a video of P!ATD doing an acoustic performance. 

So just a small note, I think once every other week, I'll just be doing posts like this with a different person each time. If you're a fan, let me know in the comments and let me know of some people you absolutely adore and I might post about them!

Weekly Wrap up-Things to take with you into this new week

1. Confidence- It's not about how others perceive you, it's about how you see yourself. Everyone struggles with confidence at some point. But Have no fear! This week over at J.o.a.l.l.o.p. the girls provided 7 days worth of uplifting and inspiring words.
Missed it? Check it out here

2. What makes a good opening to your story? Here, we were given a set of questions to help decipher whether or not our opening chapters were any good. Also, a chance to have our writing featured on a blog?
Interested? Of course you are! click this

3. Miley Cyrus still Cant Be Tamed...
hehehe okay nothing against her like, at all. I actually like her new songs, it just..that music video for wrecking ball was one of the awkwardest(no its not a word) things I've ever seen. awkwarder than the word awkwarder or awkwardest. That's pretty awkward.

4.Cinderella's getting her own movie adaptation! Don't think the exclamation mark means I'm happy about this. Cinderella was my least favorite princess growing up. I never had a true reason but I suppose it was because she was so darn helpless. I mean seriously, dudette, you feed these evil step sisters and step mom breakfast lunch and dinner. You've never felt inclined to put ground glass in their coffee? You do realize you'd inherit everything tright?
That's beside the point though, Cinderella has a chance to redeem herself in my eyes, and even though I wasn't all that excited nor did I see the snow white remakes, I'm actually kind of pumped for this one!
Click here for more information

5. New Teens React and Youtubers React!
Teens React to Ylvis the fox
Youtubers React to Mass Text


6. Monday may be the worse day ever, so here is something to remember if the wicked Monday trolls try to bring you down,

My Fall Bucket List

Fall Expectation

vs.

Reality

I was gonna start this post off with all the things I love about Fall and I ran across the picture up top which pretty much sums it up. I mean, Hoodies, Hot cocoa,boots, jeans,cuddling, crisp air, and flushed cheeks. That's just a whole lotta yesness for one season. And in the perfect world, maybe that would be majorly true. Unfortunately, my reality usually is being huddled up in piled on sweatshirts because of my earlier decision to not use my shopping money to by a coat. During this time I am usually as sick as a salmon and no one would get close enough to pass me a tissue, let alone cuddle.

However, I still love fall! The cold weather usually comes so abruptly, it's quite hard to adjust to, but once you do it's suddenly like everything is just that much more dreamy and pumpkin scented. And I dont even like pumpkins! According to wikki answers, fall officially began September 22 and ends december 20th.(Whodathunkit) in the mean time, here are all the things I wish to accomplish while the leaves are crunchy and the sky is just dim enough to have an excuse to cuddle up inside and read a book.

My Fall Bucket List

1. Go to a bonfire

2. Take a walk in a sea of fallen leaves

3. Lay out a blanket and read outside with my dogs

4. Discover the perfect hot choclate recipe
5. Carve a pumpkin
6. Buy another pair of boots!
7. Five free hugs! (hey, it's cold out! Why not right?)
8. Read five books
9. Go to a cafe wearing a creepy mask and sit there and write for a few hours as people stare at me
10.Watch a scary movie
12. Haunted house!
13. Complete one completely out of this world dare
14.Have a switched at birth marathon

Lol so yeah, my list is kinda lame but these be my goals! I'd love to know what you're plans are for the fall! Also, what are your favorite things about this time of year?

You're a Writer, Claim the Title

Hey everyone. So I don't have anything interesting to say but I found this online and I thought I'd share it. 

Ollie With An H (Excerpt)

Once again, I am at a complete and total loss for what to write about today. I need to stay true to my one post a week however, so i decided to introduce you all to my newest project I'm undergoing. if you read my work, you'll notice immediately that this does not have that deep dramatic tone. This was really me proving to myself that i can write happy fluffiness with no complete depression or sadness XD This is the first chapter.

Ollie with An H 
All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013 

1.Million,Billion,Trillion,Gazillion

       Song Inspiration: Wild Child ~Juliette Simms

     "He's wearing blue paint as pants! Paint! Ohemgee Holland, you have to look!"

I felt my arm roll in an out of its socket by the tug of Quinn’s unusually forceful grasp.

"Will you please repeat that sentence and then tell yourself why I'm not going to look?" 

     I averted my eyes instead, to a group of guys playing instruments on the lawn. Heavy combat boots and worn converse sneakers trampled over each and every inch of this venue. It was bad enough that they could simply sit on the filthy ground; the fact that one of them actually was laying a sloppy cheeseburger on the cement was enough to make me gag.

And I, Holland Gray never gagged; along with other things.

"This is so incredible! Don't you agree? What am I saying? Of course you agree! Everyone here is so free!” she gasped for air when she finished exclaiming.

"Yeah well that guy won’t be free once someone reports him for indecent exposure." I said, disinterested.

     There was a sharp pain in my neck as I tried to avoid the scene my best friend swooned at. My eyes had fallen on one of the five who sat with their instruments. A pair of cherry red headphones adorned his ears as his head swayed lightly. He tapped at the gum stained cement with untied shoes. His fingers wrapped around a badly chewed pencil as he scribbled ferociously at a notepad sitting in his lap.   Quinn was saying something about being in love with unhinged freedom when the boy I was watching looked up. His light brown eyes were like magnets in the way the grabbed mine; my punishment for staring. I swallowed, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of a torrent of butterflies attacking my stomach. I jerked my eyes away. My neck was like a tightly drawn rubber-band in the way it popped back in Quinn’s direction. And that's when I saw it.

Blue...just so much blue.

"Hello ladies." An extended hand came into my view but I was still left in shock at what my poor eyes had just witnessed after of,course,that awkward stare off.

The avatar man who stood before me took this opportunity to take my hand in his to shake it. But it wasn't until Quinn thumped me in the back of the head that I pulled my eyes up to see his face. He had a young charming features and sandy blonde hair. The only thing that was missing was clothes.

"Uhm, uhm." I stuttered.

"This is my friend Holland." Quinn spoke up for me, while ever so eloquently elbowing me.

"It's nice to meet you Holland." He said, watching me with an amused expression before turning to her. "And you are?"

"Quinn, Quinn Kassidy." she beamed. "I’ll be competing in the Battle of the Bass this year."

He took her hand, but instead of the warm shake he'd given me, he lifted hers and kissed it. Now, I was sure my gag reflexes did indeed work.

"I'm Brice, front man of Element. I put together an electric guitar version of the Earth song for my audition. It's a tribute to-"

He interrupted himself, making me jump back as he leapt into the air to do a hurky. He landed sloppy, blonde hair falling over his face as he finished saying, "mother earth."

Was this guy seriously using spirit fingers?

Quinn giggled. "I look forward to seeing your performance."

"Yours too." he said grinning. He was obviously quite confident in his blue stained skin. "Heads up though. This competition is not for the weak. There's a million dollar contract on the line. This year I'm pulling out all the stops."

My motor skills had finally picked up, and my eyes had adjusted to the idea that a naked kid was standing in front of us carrying on a casual conversation.

"A million dollar contract?! Quinn! You told me this was just a small talent show!"

She shrugged nervously, "I left out a few small details."

"Excuse me while my best friend chews my head off." Quinn said reluctantly, reading my mind. She let me drag her off a few feet away, Brice's view of us being blocked buy a large man having a lively cellphone conversation.

"What's going on here?" I hissed. "You lied to me about this! Your mom thinks we're here for a nonprofit talent show! That means technically, I lied to my parents and yours!"

"No, it means technically you're covering for me which isn't as bad."

I crossed my arms over my chest.

She rolled her eyes and it looked like she just might laugh, which only made me even more delirious. "Come on Holland, live a little! This could change my life and yours!"

"My life will be over the moment I step back into my front door."

     I'd already pulled out my cellphone to confess to my mother what a terrible delinquent I'd been. I'd crossed the line already by letting Quinn dress me this morning when my parents had left for work. A shredded midriff bearing tank top and a patterned mini skirt with a pair of high top chucks. Within twenty minutes, she had turned Holland Gray, the conservative good-girl, into a harlot.

She took my phone, clicking the lock screen.

"You know, I find it kind of sick that I have to tell you that you don't have to tell your parents about this."

I gave her a look. She knew good and well that I was not good at lying to my parents.

"Look, what is it? Do you not have any faith in me? I expect that from my family but not you Holland. Please."

I sighed opening my mouth to speak. Before I could, the naked boy popped his head around the man who'd served as a divider. The man's lip snarled up in disguist and he bumbled away, mumbling under his breath.

"So you guys are doing a duet?" he questioned, strolling over.

"I wish. Holland here is selfish, she likes to keep her beautiful voice to herself." Quinn said, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder.

I waved her comments off, "I'm not into the whole fame and fortune thing. I love music for what it is."

"We're touched Holland,really. But that makes me a lonely solo act."

"And I'm your groupie." I followed sarcastically, still partially fuming that she hadn't told me how big of a deal this was.

Brice chuckled. "You girls are funny; you should come over to the green where the rest of the acts are practicing. I can introduce you to everyone here."

"We'd love to!" Quinn piped up, shooting me a pleading look. She forfeited my cellphone back to me. "That is if my best friend doesn't mind breaking curfew."

     I swallowed down all my reservations realizing how big of a deal this really could be. Quinn was talented at four; she was out of this world at thirteen. Now at seventeen years old, smack dab in New York city, she was skilled enough to be chosen as one of the top hundred performing in this, "small talent show." I had no doubt in her ability to go far as a singer, I just wasn't sure I was ready to be left behind when it happened.

I took a deep breath. Holland Gray was a good friend until the bitter end, “Fine. Let's make you famous."

Constructive Critiscm

What would you say if I told you that I could see you through your computer? Yeah, I can totally see you through your computer and we need to talk..about your hair. I can totally see that at some point, you actually put some work into but I just need to tell you this because I love you(tube), You didn't do a very good job. I mean, what can I say? It's absolutely terrible, you need to use the proper left hand right hand technique when you use your comb and brush! You should only blow dry for approximately 15 minutes and everyone knows that when you condition you should massage your head in counterclockwise rhythms. I know, I know...It probably hurts your feelings, but you understand right? I mean...it's only constructive criticism.

Here's the thing with constructive criticism, it's extremely subjective. Different people react to it differently, and different people use it in different ways.

Majority of the time, when given constructive criticism, a person will take it and use it, but then there are other times.The reaction usually goes as follows...

or my favorite, when you ask if they get it. They say they're fine but you know,

So how do you know how you should take constructive feedback? How do you know if the person has your best interest in mind, or if they're just one of those people who use "no offence" to blatantly offend you? As someone who writes and draws, I personally love constructive criticism. In fact, I will pester people to tell me the truth if I feel they're being too nice about something I've showed them. But ofc ourse I have those days when I wonder if this person is saying it to be mean or if they're really trying to help. here's a good example, this is a drawing of mine. (I realize the shading is off)

I personally thought it was pretty good, I hadn't drawn in about three months and when I did this it was trying something completely from my mind and using tools I never used before. Anyways, I was swapping art work with someone I didn't know, we were just sharing art. I complimented hers but when she looked at mine, her reaction was, "Wait what is it?" So I told her maybe she should flip it because it was upside down and she said, she already flipped it, she still couldn't tell. Felling extremely embarrassed, I explained what it was and her reply was, "Ohh now I get it!!!But aren't the eyes to big? And is the face anatomy okay? O.e Its awesome! I can't even think of making that without any reference."

I wasn't angry at this, and I agreed. I mean, she complimented it right? Sure, the eyes actually were kinda big and I guess if the face anatomy wasn't covered by a bandana, it maybe was a little off. But a part of me also felt a little hurt. Like, either maybe my art wasn't good, or maybe the girl just felt like being mean. I mean, was it really that hard to tell what it was? I didn't know what to think about it. Was it constructive criticism? More than likely I was just being overly sensitive, either way, it brings me to this point, Everyone at some point is going to get some feedback that they may not like. Whether it is true or not, it will be impossible to tell with some people. But learning to handle constructive criticism is what we can do. So here are some tips when dealing with feedback

1.Use the advice, don't abuse the advice(Dod Gammit, I'm a philosopher!!! Somebody better tweet that!)

-Always take a moment to think about what someone has said when they are trying to be constructive. However, don't dwell on it. Especially if it was something that was really hard to swallow. Use that advice to improve but don't let it linger in your mind. Don't keep coming back to the words they spoke because every time you do, your mind will twist it into something it's not.

2.Put yourself in their shoes.

- The fact of the matter is, I'm not always right, you're not always right. No one wants to admit it but its true.If someone asked your advice, I'd hope you want the best for them. That either means being nice and lying, which is...lying to someone you care about. Orrrrrr it could mean telling the truth because you want them to do better, or you simply tell it like it is because hey, they asked. Whichever reason, how would you critique something you thought wasn't perfect if the shoe was on the other foot? I'd hope you'd be honest.

3.Agree!

I learned this in either us. history or some other class last year. You need to agree with something they say because 9 times out of ten, they are at least partially correct. You don't have to agree with everything but don't act like you have no fault whatsoever. Also, if you agree, it will take some of the burn away on both ends.

So what do you think? Have you ever gotten some feedback that you weren't so happy about? ow did you handle it?