The only school supplies you'll ever need.

You can't see me, but I'm hiding sheepishly behind the corner of my computer screen. Please don't hate me, I feel like such a lazy bum not having posted in, what has it been? Two weeks? Anyways, I come to you with even worse news than my durned laziness. To give you a hint, I'll say this is pretty much exactly how I woke up this morning.

If you haven't yet seen the godawful "my school bus is my limo" kmart commercials, then you probably don't yet realize that school has come back upon us. (I start on the 19th, what about you guys?) Despite all the advertisements telling you what you need, there are only three supplies you need to survive this school year.

1. Skin suit! 
You know that incredibly in season pair of boots you want to add to your back to school wardrobe? Forget about it. Slide this baby on on the very first day of school. Other kids will be in there newest threads but when you walk down the hall, all eyes will be on you! Not only do you have a brand new outfit that no one else is wearing, but you've just cut off a good thirty minutes from your morning routine. Didn't brush your hair? Who cares? Forgot your makeup? Oh well! For all anyone else cares you could look like Quasimodo. For the total effect, come into wrong class fifteen minutes late, everyone needs to be seated when in the presence of your awesomeness.

This supply also serves as a defense mechanism. If anyone decides to bully you, put on a your dad's tuxedo and a pair of black gloves(slenderman) and come to school super early. Leave a note from your bully's (secret admirer) in their locker and tell them to meet you, alone, out in the courtyard. From there, depending on your sanity, the possibilities of what to do next are endless.

2nd school supply. While notebook company's vie for your attention, the most silent competition is quaking loudly like the kid at the front of the class who wont share his gum, DUCK TAPE.

Any school problem you may be approached with this year can be solved with duck tape. Are you clumsy? duck tape your hands to your lunch tray and you'll never again drop you tray. Do you have a crush who won't give you the time of day? Duck tape! Hungry with last lunch period? Duck tape!

If you've forgotten your homework, ducktape helps with that too. Present a bouquet of duck tape flowers to your teacher, explain that this is what you spent your homework time doing, wink, raise an eyebrow and say, "and there's more homework where that came from."

Comes in assorted colors and styles. ;)


Speaking of styles; here's your 3rd School supply: Harry styles pop-up poster. Whether you're a fan or not, this will save...your...LIFE!

gosh the possibilities are endless. This serves to help if you don't have a date to homecoming. or you simply need a stand in when you're late for class.

How would you use this school supply and the others?