J.O.A.L.L.A.P birthing day three.

So for all of you who missed it on monday, I'll paste it from there.

Hello all you wonderful wierdos! So me and a few other bloggers are doing this collaboration blog called J.o.a.l.l.a.p and right now it's in it's birthing stage.(stay tuned for more and links) This week you will be seeing  a lot of posts from me, well, not from me, but my counterparts. We will each be doing introductions this week, next week, I will not post for J.o.a.l.l.o.p on here but i hope you guys check it out. :) Without further or due, meet Ony.

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http://lemmiereviews.blogspot.co.uk/

J.o.l.l.a.p - Ony

Hello, Onyees :) Today as you guys may know is Wednesday, Day 3 of J.o.l.l.a.p's birthing week, and as the title says...It's my turn! Wohooo :D

 So today, I'm killing two birds with one stone, by painting my nails (something i need to do) and doing a post for J.o.l.l.a.p! Since this week's theme is 'You' where as you seen from  Jamie and Lemmie where we blog about ourselves! I'm going to do a simple nail polish tutorial where i choose colors and designs accordingly to my personality. *Le Begin*

STEP ONE

I'm starting off my design by painting my nails a soft 'Tickle Pink' (Great name, AVON)

 This color represents the girly side of me that i let out this year, as you can see from my     blog -which i find pretty girly- I also choose this color because, this year I've been enjoying the color pink, 

I let that dry :)

STEP TWO

I am now using the color black :) It's not a normal black, but one of my favorite polishes a metallic grey! I use this color by painting a thick strip covering the top of each nail. 

 This color represents a dark part of my life, and that I'm not such a girl, getting dirty is not such a big deal! As i said it also represents a dark part of my life when i went through depression, and started cutting. This was from May 2012 to June 2013, this was a sad part of my life, but i survived :) 

#Cutcakenotwrist :)

STEP THREE

I was pretty hesitant to add the color orange into my design, because i didnt really want it to 

look haloweenish, but i just had to. Orange is my favorite color and it has been since..fifth grade i think? This has been my favorite color, 
because it stands out, and it represents my quirky unique personality :)
I paint this on by doing a slanted triangle from the bottom corner to the top of my nail :)






 STEP FOUR

 I was looking over my nails, and thought the design looked too bland, and not like the pretty wikihow picture i based this design off of. So I decided to (attempt to) paint a small blue 

The finishing look doesn't look too shabby, right? :)

cross on my left ring finger. This represents my Christianity if you didnt know :)

  














So, thats a basic outline of who I am :)
Hope You enjoyed the post :) Stop by my blog, for more :)

ME.

Day two of our introductions for J.o.a.l.l.o.p collaboration blog! Lets do thiiiiisssss. Today is Jamie's blog! Please head on over to her blog and check her out. Well don't 'check her out,' that would be extremely creepy and Escaping normal doesn't like creepers between the hours of 11 pm to 12 pm on weekdays.
http://oddityofone.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/me.html
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ME.

Monday, 26 August 2013

Hey guys!
As you might already know, I'm participating in a collaboration with 6 other bloggers. You might have seen me post their posts on my blog, but it's just for this week so don't fret! This weeks theme is YOU. Well, It's actually about me, but whatever semantics. 

So I've been thinking. What defines us as people? As individuals? Is it my beliefs? My interests? Or maybe even what others perceive me as. And I've come to realise, it's d) all of the above. I'm me because I'm everything. 

It's impossible to put someone is a box and say "This. This is who you are" based on one thing because then everyone with that one thing would be the same. And thus, I have decided to illustrate myself through a series of pictures, cause everyone knows that a picture is worth a thousand words. 

163 cm :(

Sweet baby jesus Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans

I am hilarious. Don't doubt me.

I do. Not even lying.

aaaaand everything Studio Ghibli

Dan and Phil? I think yes.

All day. Erryday.

Always.

 And last but not least,

Doing something new

Hello all you wonderful wierdos! So me and a few other bloggers are doing this collaboration blog called J.o.a.l.l.o.p and right now it's in it's birthing stage.(stay tuned for more and links) This week you will be seeing  a lot of posts from me, well, not from me, but my counterparts. We will each be doing introductions this week, next week, I will not post for J.o.a.l.l.o.p on here but i hope you guys check it out. :) Withought further or due, meet Lemmie. 
http://lemmiereviews.blogspot.co.uk/
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Okay, here are the cons: 

1) I'm pretty tall (5ft 9). This comes with a few cons: When I fall it is further to fall, it sucks flying on planes and I can't wear heels without towering over my friends. I can also never be inconspicuous and hide in crowds.

2) Where I live. I live in a village which has about ten shops in it ( three of which are charity shops), I have to take the train if I want to go anywhere and I have to cycle a fair way to my friends' houses. I live in the UK, so it rains nine months of the year and is cold the other three (except for two weeks in July where everyone rushes outside wielding barbecues and sun cream).

3) I spend too much time on the internet, which means that I waste a lot of time laughing hysterically on my own.

4) I am in secondary (high) school, I'm just about to start year/ grade eleven, which means that I have a lot of school work and revision to do. It can also be very bitchy, with a lot of cat fights and gossiping.

And here are the pros:

1) I'm pretty tall ( 5ft 9). This comes with a few pros: I can nearly always reach the top shelf and tall people are easier to spot in crowds. I never have to wear heels to be taller and basketball and netball are easier.

2) Where I live. I live in a village; this means that there is a lot of trees, fields and open spaces. I live near a train station so I can go to Bristol pretty easily if I need to go shopping etc. I live in the UK which is an island, so there are loads of beaches.

3) I spend a lot of time on the internet, I watch a lot of Youtubers and Vloggers, read blogs and go on Facebook, Twitter etc. This is great because I get a lot of quality internet time,  laughing hysterically on my own.

4) I'm in secondary (high) school, I'm just about to start year/ grade eleven, which means that I get to meet loads of new people and see my friends every day. I also don't have to pay any bills, cook for myself or do my own washing!

I hope you have got to know me a little bit better,

Lemmie x

What's in my bag? Writers edition.

Happy first weekend of the schoolyear everybody! I hope you spent it right. I did some laser tag and began the Go teen writers 100 for 100 writing challenge.2,000 words in two days!

So I was scrolling through youtube one time or another, and I noticed flashy titles advertising, "What's in my bag!" Now, I'll admit, I never once opened even a single one of those videos but it gave me an idea. How about do one to show all of you guys? So without further or due, here is a glimpse into the bag of a writer, please keep in mind that I carry a bag the size of an eighteen wheeler. Also, some componenets are interchangeable so yeah.

Black Sharpie: If it isn't obvious by the faded writing, I use this thing a LOT. I can't live without it, I can't go without it, and I never ever trust people who ask to borrow it. (Let that be a life lesson, no one should ever ask to borrow your black sharpie without supervision)

Tinted Lip Balm: If you notice, this lip balm is actually the Christmas themed one. It was sent to me in a care package by my aunt last December and I still have it. Yay me! (I can't even keep a fish for 3 hours either it disappears in the toilet or in my stomach) This is a lifesaver. Not only is it a SPF and wonderful moisturizer, but it goes on a nice tinted raspberry color. I am not the type of girl to cake her face in makeup. That's why I like this, I can apply it anywhere, anytime without a mirror and I know it will keep my lips purty.

Wet n' Wild Megalength Mascara: Like I said, I refuse to spend time applying a face full of makeup but even being my nerdy self, I do like to maintain that innocent librarian type look. I've tried many mascara's but this is by far my very favorite. The bristles are surprisingly tiny and when I first bought it, I was on the verge of marching back into the store to get my money back. However, when I applied it I realized that maybe these magical mascara fairies had a method to their madness! It's perfect and I suggest it to everyone. The bristles grab every single one of your lashes and make them look fluttery and sweet. 

This eraser....I can't even.....I won't even...asfkjbs;gskhdfbfj LOVE: Seriously, my aunt gave me this today and I don't know where from but I will tell you, it was sent by the Gods. I don't care how heavy it is, I will forever carry it around to write any wrongs that could ever possibly mar my life. Just look at it! Ahhhhh perf. :)

Mini Perfume: I do not suggest buying perfume from those mini bottles that you can find at dollar stores. The one displayed here was personally given to me by someone I know who makes these but you can find them at beauty salons,salon stores, flea markets, places like that. They're incredibly cheap for such good quality scents and there's no way you will bump into anyone with the exact same one as you. I love to use this one as an emergency measure. It doesn't spray, it rubs on to your skin so it also gives you a very pretty but not oily glow so you end up looking like you've just walked out of a perfume magazine advertisement. I love reading magazines at the library and now I don't have to swipe the scented advertisements. xD I kid!

Ugh, these cursed things. Okay I give up, I really do need these glasses, I'm as blind as a bat if I have to read anything thats two feet away. On the brighter note, I like to put them on when I'm at fancy places, I get nods of approval and I can keep from looking like an idiot by tripping and falling over entrees and bus boys.

A good book: This is one of those interchangeable pieces since I'm always reading a new book. Depending on where I'm going, I may carry it in my hand with my purse strap hanging from my mouth. I kid again! No but really, my book ALWAYS comes first. (I'm not really into vampire books but I borrowed this from my cousin and so far, it's pretty good!)

Finally, My writing binder. Now this, I try to bring with me everywhere because I never know when inspiration will strike or when I remember something that I forgot while writing. It's actually really big so it's hard to find space for it, but I manage.

I hope you enjoyed this post and got a few ideas as to what you might want to put in you own purse if you carry one. Comment below and let me know :) (that rhymed.)

The only school supplies you'll ever need.

You can't see me, but I'm hiding sheepishly behind the corner of my computer screen. Please don't hate me, I feel like such a lazy bum not having posted in, what has it been? Two weeks? Anyways, I come to you with even worse news than my durned laziness. To give you a hint, I'll say this is pretty much exactly how I woke up this morning.

If you haven't yet seen the godawful "my school bus is my limo" kmart commercials, then you probably don't yet realize that school has come back upon us. (I start on the 19th, what about you guys?) Despite all the advertisements telling you what you need, there are only three supplies you need to survive this school year.

1. Skin suit! 
You know that incredibly in season pair of boots you want to add to your back to school wardrobe? Forget about it. Slide this baby on on the very first day of school. Other kids will be in there newest threads but when you walk down the hall, all eyes will be on you! Not only do you have a brand new outfit that no one else is wearing, but you've just cut off a good thirty minutes from your morning routine. Didn't brush your hair? Who cares? Forgot your makeup? Oh well! For all anyone else cares you could look like Quasimodo. For the total effect, come into wrong class fifteen minutes late, everyone needs to be seated when in the presence of your awesomeness.

This supply also serves as a defense mechanism. If anyone decides to bully you, put on a your dad's tuxedo and a pair of black gloves(slenderman) and come to school super early. Leave a note from your bully's (secret admirer) in their locker and tell them to meet you, alone, out in the courtyard. From there, depending on your sanity, the possibilities of what to do next are endless.

2nd school supply. While notebook company's vie for your attention, the most silent competition is quaking loudly like the kid at the front of the class who wont share his gum, DUCK TAPE.

Any school problem you may be approached with this year can be solved with duck tape. Are you clumsy? duck tape your hands to your lunch tray and you'll never again drop you tray. Do you have a crush who won't give you the time of day? Duck tape! Hungry with last lunch period? Duck tape!

If you've forgotten your homework, ducktape helps with that too. Present a bouquet of duck tape flowers to your teacher, explain that this is what you spent your homework time doing, wink, raise an eyebrow and say, "and there's more homework where that came from."

Comes in assorted colors and styles. ;)


Speaking of styles; here's your 3rd School supply: Harry styles pop-up poster. Whether you're a fan or not, this will save...your...LIFE!

gosh the possibilities are endless. This serves to help if you don't have a date to homecoming. or you simply need a stand in when you're late for class.

How would you use this school supply and the others?

Noise

Copyright © 2013

Noise

 My best friend, Ava, is in the back getting her head chewed off by the boss. I wish the two would just get a room already. I've got much more to worry about than the ever so secret relationship going on between the worst secret keeper in town and her thirty year old lover. The ding of the front door rings in my ears and my mouth opens to say "Welcome to Caffeine Castle!", without having to look up from the mint foam Chai I hand off to a customer.

         All I see is the man's hairy fingers envelope around the white cup, his gruff voice pushing out the smell of cigarette smoke. It mingles with the sweet smell of tea, dulling the magic from my work of art. 

        I don't hear him over the sound of a toddler crying near the front door. It doesn't really matter. He's either said, thanks, or go screw yourself; in which case, my response is away the same. A plastic smile and a, "Have a great day sir."

        I'm no beauty queen like the tall slender girl who's perched against the wall, waiting to be served. If I looked something like her,my boss wouldn't dare  get on my case about being genuine with my customers. There's no  point of offering a real smile. Makeup or no,this face will always be invisible. Not like Ava, with her flawless looks and outspoken double pierced tongue. Not even the life of a coffee shop can dull her shine. Or you know, dish duty. In the back the shouts are getting louder. I hear Ava say something along the lines of, "I'll be damned if you put me on cleanup because I blew you off!"

       The satisfied customer grunts and walks away, taking a detour through the argument happening in the shop. He splits it up for a moment when he walks through. He's a large man. I can tell by the sound of his footsteps that he's roughly around two fifty. Either he's on his way to a manicurist, or the tea is for a prospective lover.

The door dings again, and I know hairy knuckles has left which signals the start up of the same fight he'd interrupted. Someone cut in line and according the the one who sounds like a true Californian, cutting on a Monday is, "like, totally not cool dude."

The baby is still crying, his mother is still hushing him, and now they're next in line. Ava has stopped yelling which only means the fight is over an they're probably making out. I sigh, running my hands through my curly hair before starting for the smoothie maker.

A few moment's later the fight in the front of the store has escalated.

"That'll be three fifty. I say to the customer before me, handing her a foam cup. When she pays me, I scoot a banana smoothie to her also. "That's for Trevor." I say, mentioning the name I'd heard her call her son when he was crying. "It's on the house."

       She smiles, but I slide from behind the counter before she can begin blessing my heart. Looking down at my shoes, I wonder what words to use to break up the fight. I don't have to see their faces to know that some caffeine deprived civilian is moments away from socking the other to Timbuktu, I can tell by the inflections in their voices.

"Please guys, calm down." I say, letting my hair fall over my face. I'm not good with confrontation.

Another thing I'm not good at, ducking. I hear the swoosh of a fist as the first swings at the other and in the next instant I'm on the floor. This time, my overly alert sense feel everything. The sound of shouts all around me, the scattering of feet against the linoleum, the sounds of the brothel that was once my ritual workplace. What I don't register however, is any pain.

I did just get punched, right?

Wrong.

It's only now that I realize that someone is on top of me. He has smooth brown skin contrasting with hazel green eyes. The combination is beautiful and I can't help but wonder if eyes like these are what I've been missing when addressing peoples shoes instead of their faces. He smirks and I see a dimple form in his cheek. For the first time ever, I can't hear the commotion around me.

He scrambles up after a moment, and offers a hand which I take dumbly. The way he shields me from the riot that's broken loose in the cafe makes me feel indescribable. Both his arms wrap around me as he walks behind me, ushering me forward. I don't even realize that Ava and the boss have emerged when the boy leads me outside.

"Sorry for tackling you back there." He says when we are out."It was the best move before that jerk in there could miss his target."

"Thanks." I murmur quickly.

"You work a lot huh?"

"What makes you think that?" I attempt to joke. He actually smiles at it.

"I've seen you behind that counter every day this summer."

"I hate to be rude but I've never seen you before."

"I would imagine you haven't." He leans against the store window now. "You're always looking down.
Why don't you ever look up?'

"I don't know." I say feeling embarrassed. "There's no need to."

"I hate to sound corny but, with a smile like yours, there's a lot of reason to look up."

Before I can say anything else he says, "See! there it is! That smile!"

I try not to laugh now as I spin on my heels to go back into the cafe.

"I have to get back in there to help." I say over my shoulder.

"Why?"

"Because that's my job."

"No." He gently grabs my hand and turns me around to face him.

"That'" he says, nodding towards the riotous coffee shop, "is just noise."

Noise

 The word reverberates in my mind. I don't hear the noise when I'm talking to this boy, and he doesn't seem to notice anything around him but me.

 "I'm Kellan."

"Lacie."

"Would you like to go for a walk with me Lacie? I know this great music place."

"No." I say suddenly. "How about we just walk. You know, in silence."

He raises an eyebrow but smiles.

"May I?"

I let him take my hand in his. It fits perfectly in his warm grasp. And then we walk away. Away from my boss from hell, even though I can feel his eyes searing out from behind the window. Away from Ava, who I know will text me before the night is up. But most importantly away from the thing that made my life seem so small compared to it's ongoing madness, finally I was getting away from the noise.

Hey guys! So I havent posted in a week or two and I really feel ashamed. I don't want to make excuses but the truth is, I don't know what to say!! :/ So until I get over this bloggers block(I just made that up...yes) I thought I'd humor you with this short story I wrote for a group contest on figment.com. The promt was basically write as someone who obsevres the things going on around them. Lacie was supposed to be like that theoretical fly on the wall. Keep in mind, I haven't written a short story in forever and ages ago so please don't judge my skill by this. I just thought it'd be fun to share whilst we await an actual spark of genius to hit me with a waffle iron. XXXXX

Writers Can Spot Catfish!

First of, if you think that by catfish I mean a smelly, whiskered and gilled creature, you deserve a cookie because you obviously have a life.

Catfish- A creeper behind a (computer)screen who impersonates or creates a false persona for his/her  personal gain in creating relationships with people on the internet.

Got it? Good. Now, if you are a writer, then you are special. Why? Because you have the ability to spot Catfish faster than any other human being out on the interweb! Here are some reasons why.

1.Storytelling is in our nature.

     -It's like spidey senses. We just know when we've come across someone else who is, well, gifted in the art of make believe.

2.We research.

     -When writing, to get the most believable story, we have to do our research. If you do your research on something that your catfish has boasted about experiencing, or even did something as simple as doing a picture search on the internet, then you can immediately know if someone is who they say they are. For some odd reason, no one cares to double check if someone is real into it's too late. As writers, we know that research is vital to a good story. If a catfish has told you about something that doesn't comply with your research then, ding! ding! ding! you've got yourself a catfish.

3.We too, use aliases

     -By this, I mean Pen names, which doesn't apply to every writer. Let's use me for an example. Leah Lotus is my pen name. Does Leah lotus sound like the type of girl who spends her time creating stories for the voices in her mind and stalking her crush on fb? Of course not! Leah lotus is a big shot blogger  who will one day be a bestselling author, in the midst of choosing which producer  she'll allow to make her novel into a movie. Her last name is a flower for goodness sake! Let's use an analogy to further understand a possible catfish online name verses her real name.

Luxe Jolie is to beautiful young, aspiring model as Lucille Zass is to forty something cat lady  going through a midlife crisis.

4.Finally, as writers we have no choice but to  ponder things until they finally click for us. 

     -When writing, the perfect story, there will be  multiple times when you think, "this story is near perfect, but something just isn't clicking." Sometimes it takes multiple drafts to find and insert that missing puzzle piece.

Example; A profile of a guy  named Luke Skywalker who is single, 18 years old and in a band. Did I mention he's gorgeous? Okay, so only a writer would consider that maybe he is really an FBI agent who's investigating a rock band's lead singer has murdered his girlfriend and "Luke"  just uses Facebook to maintain his cover. Or you know, maybe it's just obvious that Luke Skywalker isn't a real name.

That is all.